Reflections

One year ago yesterday we got the call we had been hoping for/dreading. Pregnancy test was positive and too high to be left over from the second HCG shot. And so begain that rollercoaster ride. It is so hard to believe that I am sitting here a year later with an absolutely perfect and adorable 16 week old little boy. I never thought that at that point last year I would make it to a point where we would have a healthy and happy baby. I never thought that 2 shots a day would get me to where I had just dreamed of being. Thank goodness for modern medicine!!! It has been very useful to us in the past year.

The IF road was so bumpy, bruising and a roller coaster ride for us. I am glad to be off the ride for now, but it is still a part of me and who I am today. I think a lot of relatives have forgotten what it took to get C here and have him arrive healthy and alive. Just because I don’t want to let him stay with you all the time or let him stay overnight at this point doesn’t make me a bitchy mom. It makes me an over-protective mama bear. And when I want to hold him instead of you that is ok, that is my choice. Or if we take the crib bumpers out if are worried because there is no monitor in that room that is ok too.

This is going to sound totally crazy and off the wall, but in some ways I am thankful for the IF. I know in my heart that Rich and I can make it thru anything together. We have already been thru hell so everything else is a piece of cake. I think that maybe that is why we seem to get along so well, too well maybe sometimes. I think that IF has made me a stronger person as well. I don’t back down and I am not as wimpy as I used to be. I stand up for what I think is best and if you don’t like my opinion that is ok, but I am not going to change to go with the majority.

This post ended up all over the place and not where the original one was going or so I thought. That’s what you get from me though. Especially anymore I find myself scatter-brained, unmotivated and all over the place at any given moment.