Tuesday, August 7, 2007


There is another very special occasion that matches up with our first pregnancy, the same one that came after my wishing on the first shooting star. I was fortunate enough to know two of my great-grandparents, my father’s mother’s mother and my father’s father’s father. Not only did our time on earth overlap, but I was actually old enough to have many memories of them. My grandmother made it well known that she desperately wanted great grandchildren. Had everything gone according to our naive plan, we would have given her one, maybe 2, instead of enduring the at times painful comments about when we were going to have children or when was she going to have a great grandchild. In January 2005, ironically in between the time I had interviewed for and the time I had accepted a job at a lung cancer research company, my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She battled through one round, but it quickly returned. In November, after the IUI and during the two week wait, she lost the fight. The stress and grief during her last days and the days to follow left us with little hope of that cycle actually working. However, we were joyously surprised to get our first ever BFP (I am picking up lingo J). We had both been thinking it, but neither of us had said it for about a week. Then it came up, we were certain that even if Grandma didn’t have anything to do with the conception and implantation, we were certain that BB had a guardian angel and that nothing could go wrong. How naive of us again. It wasn’t our turn yet. I guess she was too much of a newbie angel to work miracles. At least I know both BB and Autumn are well taken care of, well fed, having a very good time, and Grandma has some great grandchildren to play with. Maybe the three of them together will have the ability to pull off the miracle for us this time.

1 comment:

Jason said...

I'm sure she's enjoying her time with your children. That's one of the few comforts I've gotten from Devon and I's experiences as well. I have a grandfather and an uncle that passed away a little over a year ago now. They knew about our first pregnancy and loss and were already in heaven for the ones that followed. Whenever I think about the babies we lost or my uncle or grandpa I think about all of them looking after each other waiting for us when the time comes.