Friday, August 3, 2007

Hope 1, Me 0

HCG blood test was positive. Progesterone was good as well. The nurse said it was a good positive & not from the HCG shot. I am still freaked out & in disbelief. I think after the second draw on Monday I may feel differently. It all feels very surreal at this point to me. I just can’t get excited yet.

Started the Heparin shots last night. Already got a little bruise from the first one. Did them myself & it is not pleasant at all. It burns going in & I feel it. It is going to be a long 8 months. But if it gets me a live baby in the end, I am ok with it.

I freaked out after the results yesterday. I told Rich I wasn’t ready. I am not ready for the spot checks, symptom checks & moments of freak out for the next months. I know I will never be ready for another loss.

Rich is very confident. He opened the bottle of scotch last night & said third times the charm. Every time it has been a different liquor that he has saved special for the occasion. Rum from the cruise, bourbon from Kentucky & Scotch this time.

I wish I could feel that confident already. I hope in time I will get to that point.

I am having pre-AF symptoms right now. I don’t even know what to say anymore. I didn’t want to post this at all, but Rich said I should. I am so scared right now.


Rich said...

Smile Jenn, I love you. This is it!
"I feel a lot of good solid positive energy coming out of you great, great its all great. Yeah, a lot of pressure, you gotta rise above it. Harness in the good energy and block out the bad, harness good energy, block bad, feel the flow Happy, feel it. Its circular, its like a carousel, you put in the quarter you pay the toll, it goes up and down and around, circular, the flow, all good things." --Kevin Neelin in Happy Gilmore

Anonymous said...

Jenn - As someone who has been there - heparin and all - I know how you're feeling. Just try to take it one day at a time and stay positive. It's a long road, but with each passing day it does get easier, I promise. I'm sending you happy thoughts and positive energy!! -Jeannette

Anonymous said...

Jenn and Rich,
Terry and I are so EXCITED for you!!! We are still praying for you and sending you tons and tons of sticky vibes!!! Let us know if you guys need anything!!!

Terry and Sarah

Anonymous said...

just wanted to post my excitement here! I know you are being cautious and you can let Rich and the rest of us be positive for you until you are comfortable!

trust the Heparin, even though our stomachs look like war zones, it is for our MUCH LOVED and WANTED babies!!!



MrsSpock said...

I TOLD YOU SO!!!! So excited for you!!! Keep taking that heparin Jenn- you can do it!

MC said...

I am so happy for you guys!!!!!!
And I think you are so strong to do all that (specially the shots by yourselves !) Keep going a day at the time and soon enough everything will get in place.

Congratulations or "Félicitations