Friday, July 6, 2007

Pros & Cons

Per request & to helpfully help me out some:

Pros & Cons of doing treatment cycle now

28 days younger
Possibility of success
Another data point either way (this one is from my engineer)
One step closer to whatever will be
Pregnant friend(s) to go thru this with
Finally moving on & not at stand still
Real possiblity of a baby with treatments
Getting Pregnant

Possibility of failed cycle
Possibility of another loss
Stress of worrying about
Becoming a human pin cushion again
Still at bad place, possibility of good new place (Rich's one, I don't understand it)
Getting Pregnant

I think the biggest problem Rich & I are both having is fear. As you can see since getting pregnant is under both. The fear won’t go away no matter how positive I try to be or how much good news we get. 98% of me is ready to get moving & do something proactive towards getting pregnant. That other 2% has a really loud voice though. I am scared of things working out & getting pregnant again. I think we have been having such a good time as the two of us, I don’t want to loose that either. But I want to have a family as well to have fun with. THIS SUCKS!!!!! I so didn’t feel like this last time. Last time I was chomping at the bit, ready before the 5 month waiting period. This time I have been given an earlier pass & I can’t get out of the line. OK, please someone talk some sense into us!!! Are we being ridiculous & need to quit being chicken shits? Or should we really wait?

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